the comeback!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (aka-I hope you can read past the parentheticals phrases that are a little overpowering)

I am usually not a lover of the many explanation points (three is always more than enough,) but I am using that tactic this morning to illustrate the fact that I'm drinking so much coffee, and I'm awake and ready to go (where, I don't know, because I don't even have class this morning) at six am.

You might be wondering, if you know me at all, why am I up at six am? Or, ready BY six am, therefore up BEFORE six am.  Well, that is a totally good and valid question; the answer is, I'm not sure if I slept at all.  I mean, my eyes were closed for awhile, but I don't know if I would call it sleep.  My mind was awake, but not in a dreamy way.  So I'm just going to say I've been up for like...Eh, I don't know, not twenty fours...maybe, like twentyish hours? 19? 17 at the least.  Don't remember when I really woke up yesterday (which feels like today when there isn't anything to separate the days. Anyway, there I go making two sentences' worth of thought into twenty.

How's everyone?

I'm well.  Good, even.  It's GBF (global bridegroom fast--though, I doubt that helps anyone too much,) week here at good ol' not pancakes IHOP (you get that right? so I don't have to clarify anymore?) so no classes this week.  Just extra prayer room hours and an extra paper or two to write.  But no classes is nice, on any other day than today, I would mention the not having to get up so early, but I am up way earlier than ever getting up early would be today.  But, being GBF things are busier in their less busyness.  It's weird like that.

And in case anyone was wondering, I am not fasting.  I am currently eating toast.

Hm.  What things do I have to tell you?  Well, today, I am going to talk to Renae's boss at the daycare where she works about a once a week job.  It wouldn't be a lot of money, or a lot of hours, but anything helps.  I would be a preschool teacher, of sorts.  Which sounds fun, honestly, I think that kids that age are the cutest.

I have also been thinking very hard (and praying, heh heh) the past weekish or so about instead of going back to FSM next year (or, even semester, I don't know how that works really,) but to do the Fire in the Night internship.  It's a little bit more money, but I wouldn't have to pay rent, because my housing would be included.  So I'm not sure.  I have to pray more about it.

But, I'm having a hard time really getting into things here, because I don't have to be.  I have to go to class, and have to go to the prayer room, but those are really individualistic things.  I don't have to be friends with anyone, I don't have to develop a community with them if I don't want to.  And, surprise-surprise, I have a really really hard time with things like that.  I get nervous, and talk myself out of even trying to be friends with people, based on my own insecurities.  So, if I'm not in a situation in which I have to be social, I will not be social; but I'll suffer from it, terribly.  It's not a good thing.  Being part of an internship would put me in the situation in which I would be forced to participate, get to know the girls I'd live with, etcetera.  I don't know, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like the best choice...  But you know, I'm not sure yet.  I need to talk with my parents and so on.  Pray for me though.

Um, I don't really have much else to say (but oh, I do, I just am not going to.)
I hope that you all are enjoying this morning, I know I am. :)

I look like forty five kinds of icky, and I may not make much sense, but there you go.

Oh, my belly.

Correy Russell is our teacher this week in Core Class, which is nothing is not slightly surreal.  Now, I've been aware of the fact that I am at IHOP (duh,) and that it is the same IHOP that is on TV at home; but having these people that are speaking prayers out into the air at my house when my mom has the TV on be my teachers is kind of weird.  I mean, it's not like we are in a small classroom or anything, we aren't; we are at the main  sanctuary at FSM which is huge (and freaking cold, but I don't wanna get myself started on that.) and there's around 200 people in my core class.  But still, Correy Russell is one of the people I remember the best from seeing IHOP on TV, and he is my teacher this week.  How crazy.
And classes are so good, but so intense.  Hence my belly: I am worn out from crying out, I am worn out from crying out and feeling the holy spirit inside coming out, I am emotionally exhausted--and my belly hurts!  I can only assume that it's coming from the breakthrough that I'm feel like I've been going through; I've felt like I've gone through more delieverance in the past two days than I have been the whole month and a few days/weekish I've been here.  Wow, God is so amazing.

Anyway, whenever I try to write about spiritual matters in any other setting than in my prayer journal or so on they come out ramblings that only make sense while I'm writing them.  And a blogspot about my everyday comings and goings seems to not be ideal.

So, since I've last written I've been in a slightly better mood.  Only slightly.
But, I have been. I'm not lying.
Friday was an okay day, I think.  From what I can remember it wasn't that specific.  I got coffee with Jane and tried my darndest (?) to cheer her up (it was hard, she was bummmmmed out.)
I watched a lot of Greek on hulu.  That's what I've been doing when I haven't been in class/prayer room, watching a terrible terrible television show.  (By the way, I started watching it on wednesday, and I'm all the way through the first season and 15 episodes of the second season...don't add up the hours. I hate you.)
Then, I had to go to a picnic on Saturday.  Which was lame and almost made me want to call my mom and ask her if I could move back home already.  I sat alone on a picnic table bench, two people said hello to me, one of them being a teacher, and I ate a gross hot dog.  Because the day was so crappy I got so anxious and uncomfortable I developed a migraine and went home and turned off all lights and sounds and slept for four hours and felt nauseous. :(
During the evening on Saturday, after I slept off my headache, I got up and Janae and Tori's cousins were in town for the night and staying over at our house.  So Rebekah was over and they were going to have a fire, and sit on the back porch.  Janae invited me out, but I had had enough socializing for the day.  And, really, what would I have to talk about with them? I barely have anything to talk about with Janae and Tori, let alone Rebekah, and the cousins (who are two dudes in their twenties from Colorado), seriously nothing to say.  And I was grouchy, and I hate being grouchy and thus awkward and making first impressions.  It was good for everyone if I just stayed in my room.  I had my door open because Hayley was really antsy with all the new people coming in and out so she kept coming in and out of my room as well, so Rebekah came and told me that I was allowed to be outside with them, don't feel like I couldn't be...and that they're good Christian boys so I shouldn't be scared of their "worldliness"....Oh man, I was SO angry.  SO ANGRY. That was really rude.  Sometimes....guh.
But a little after that Jordan walked by and I told her that my day sucked and she invited me to hang out the next morning with her.  And that was really great.
Jordan hangs out and does her work at a coffee shop in Waldo (about ten minutes away from Grandview, closer up towards the Plaza and Brookside) called "Coffee Girls" and it was so cute, and has the greatest IKEA furniture and it's so clean and designy.  We hung out there and I got a free cafe au lait that was pretty much awesome.  Her friend Dallas came and hung out for a little while too; he's pretty cool, I mean he loves some of the same things that I love...that start with "I" at least...Ira Glass and IKEA. :) So that was all good coversation.
Once Jordan had something else she had to go do I met Jane at Broadway and we hung out in westport the rest of the afternoon.  Sunday was a generally respectable day.

That's pretty much all I've been up to, since I last wrote.
Mostly I am totally drained by the heavy teaching this week...in a good way.
Now I'm sitting outside the prayer room.  I've been going in an out, I'm so tired when I go in there though! Gah, I have to keep leaving to help from falling asleep.
I like free wifi,  it's a beautiful day.


Cheers.  I bought headphones, and am listening to my ipod...it's been too long Robert, I've missed you ever so much.
Fleet Foxes :) mmm. Perfect music for the weather. Later Skaters.

Well, trying.

Today I took a day off, mostly.
I've watched TV on my computer, cleaned up my room, listened to music, reorganized my bookcases, deep conditioned my hair with my stain conditioner, and trimmed my bangs.
Then, Jane and I went to Target.
I am mostly doing not much.
But I want to try and update more.

More, when (if) it happens.


Oh, the dog is weird today and stood outside my door CRYING VERY LOUDLY from about 7:30-9:30 off and on. 
It was annoying.  And she just wanted me to let her outside, over and over again.  She must have an upset stomach or something.  Anyway.  That's about it.
My skin is irritated by something too.  I have bit splotchy red spots, which I guess means I'll never get married.

It's weird to be somewhere where almost no knew me as a blonde...

I'm sorry that I've been not-so-consistant.  I always, ALWAYS, mean well with blogs, but I almost never keep up with them.
With the exception of a xanga that I wrote in almost everyday for around three and a half YEARS.
Since then I've not been good with it.  Things like facebook, twitter, tumblr, all these things are more fun than myspace was back in the day when I updated xanga all the time, so I naturally had no other internet distractions at that time.  Email, myspace, and xanga.  And xanga was the most interesting.
Oh how things change so quickly. It's kind of weird, you know?

Other than being sick all last week I haven't been up to much.  I was out of commisson for a good 4.5 days, so there wasn't much I could've been doing!  I slept so much! Although, I think it's messed me up a little bit because now I'm having a hard time sleeping at night, just from 6am-1pm. Gross. I hate it.
I'm trying to get over it. Trying, failing, whatever.

Let's see, what've I been up to since I've last updated...Well, sick, mostly.
But, on Friday Jane I did go down to the crossroads and go to first fridays; it wasn't as organized as we meant it to be, but oh well.  Then we ate at winsteads and it was SO LOUD in there.  Like an entire high school had invaded it.  One of the waitresses had to yell at the whole restaurant! I've never seen anything like that before!  I felt like I was eating lunch in the commons again.  Eventually we just went back to her apartment and chatted for a while.  It wasn't a bad night.
Saturday was boring.  Jane was out of town.  I slept on and off all day.  Talked to Renae (my roommate) for a good while, which was really nice, and then we out driving and got lost in the ghetto at night.
Good right? Yes. It was super great.
Sunday was uneventful.  I went to church, I laid around.  Drank coffee at Jane's. 
Yesterday wasn't too bad, labor day.  I went to TWO SUPER TARGETS IN ONE DAY! (wow!) and that was pretty great... I looked at CDs at best buy, and this creeper kept looking over my shoulder...I quit looking after that and went home.  Talked to my grandma on the phone for about forty five minutes, which was nice.
Then I went and saw Max Justus, a local--and quite well known, apparently, he played at Cornerstone last year--DJ who Jane knows. I've never been to see a DJ, so I had no clue what to expect.  And it was exactly what I expected.  Oddly enough.   I was really worried that I wouldn't know what to do, like stand, sit, dance, whatever, but it was okay because we just sat and watched everything that went on. 
The dancing was hil-arious.  Hipsters dancing, oh man, I enjoyed it ever soo much.  And I liked the music a lot too.  It helped that I've been listening to a lot of electronica music lately (due to my slight Erlend Oye obsesion,) so I was definitely in the mindset.  Also, he's really good.  Also, he's really attractive.  So, either way I liked it (haha)
Although- he has a mullet.  It didn't bother me at all.
But yeah, it was fun.  And this guy that Jane has a crush on somewhat paid attention to her so she was all happy and stuff.
We were good, it was fun. 
That was labor day. Targets, Prayer Room, And DJs.
Then I couldn't sleep, went to the prayer room. AT FIVE IN THE MORNING WHEN I HADN'T YET BEEN TO BED. So I came home and slept all afternoon, then went to broadway for coffee with Jane and then we sat at the Foundary for a while. Which after our  DJing night, was pretty lame, and we're totally expecting tons of hipsters and fun times.  Instead we got old people and french fries.
My sleeping patterns are all off wack.
Anyhow, now it's Jane's, Brenna's and Fred's birthdays; turning 22 and 21 respectively, HAPPY BIRD-DAY to them.
I'm watching Glee on my computer.

See you all soon.
(sorry for my inconsistancies again,)

"Whelp...Who wants pizza?"

Good Morning everyone. Ish, good morningish.  I mean I definitely was up until 4 am tweaking this blog thing, and it's definitely after one PM  now.  It was way more morning before I went to bed last night, you know, than it is now.  Oh well.
Totally besides the point.

Like I said, I'm going to update this more regularly, about recent commings and goings and pancake eating and everything.
So, here is my first attempt.

Yesterday was Friday (yes, here too.) And I only have one class on Fridays, the only class that isn't called a class, it's called a "practicum"; which only makes me think of sophomore year of high school when there was a really cute practicum student teacher (the ones who didn't teach, just chilled out and took notes...or, more commonly to my paying attention, nothing at all) that I would pass coming in and out of Mr. Jones class.  This is nothing like that.
We are in a classroom for our practicum: there's a white board with markers and everything (sometimes my teacher even uses it) and a podium, and classroomy things. I think this is one of the biggest reasons it feels like a class.  For my "classes" we are just in the church "sactuary" I guess is what it would be called.  And there are way more of us in my normal M-W class. About 200 or more people.  I digress.
The Practicum is really interesting though, mostly, because it's more intellectual stuff--history and so on.  I like history a lot, I like doctrine and specifics, I like to learn about things that I'm immersed in, the back story and everything.  Actually yesterday, we were talking about the cannon, and translations and stuff (the Bible) and thanks to Dr. Gartig's class last year (that I failed...besides the point,) I knew everything he was talking about! And I found that class fascinating, just really really hard.
Anyway, in that class we are talking about doctrine, and how you can't love something that you don't know anything about, and why studying doctrine is so important.  And man, my heart, man.

After class I made an executive decision to not go to EGS (I'm not supposed to make decisions like that) but I just wanted out of FSM for a little while. Three hours of class everyday, four-five hours prayer room everyday... I'm just getting used to things, but I'm getting a little tired.  I'm getting better, but it's a hard adjustment.  It's so much sitting, sitting and waiting.  Which is great! It is.  It's just haaaarrrd.
I'm a wimp.
So instead of church, Jane and I went to IHOP! I mean! The Pancake kind!!
We didn't go to the IHOP that so many people are totally cool with going to in Grandview, because like I said, Grandview is the scariest.  We went to Leawood, KS--which is pretty much like if all the retail in Florence married the wealth of Union and was a really spiffy suberb (one of the richest in the country) in KS.  Everything there makes Grandview even scarier, with it's lack of scariness (making up some of it in pretention, but not at like...IHOP.)
There was a cute waiter, only he had a pony tail.  It was weird. I could see him, Jane could not. Though, she really wanted to. Ha--I win.
Then we meander (?) around the rest of the street.  Macy's, mallish stores, and Barnes and Noble.  I read a lot of Michael Ian Black's book of essays.  I especially loves "David Sedaris can suck it!"  Why? Because I love David Sedaris and I love Michael Ian Black. 
Eventually we ended up back at my house. Hung out.
And, honestly. I've lost my train of thought.

Anyhow, I'm trying to update everyday, and I've already failed.
On with tomorrow.
UP UP AND AWAY.
(Am I going to change the date so this looked like I wrote it at the right time? you bet your bottom dollar I might.)

Peace.
-hannah