Pomegranates.

It's raining outside and it is cold.  I am sitting in my living room, in the empty house, thinking about being at home and Christmastime.  Not seriously though, just in passing.
Things have been okay this past week.  My mind is occupied on crushes on boys and the future and going home for thanksgiving; mostly though, on how good God is, and how happy I am about that.
My lovely (lovely is a proper descriptor, they have different forms of British accents, lovely is a proper British word) small group leaders, Wes and Carol Hall blessed me this week with a coat! A coat! Which is the greatest because it is so cold.
It's not super flattering, but it is very warm and not hideous.
It was the greatest.

Um.  I lost my train of thought.
I got a coat.
ENTRY FIN.

the comeback!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (aka-I hope you can read past the parentheticals phrases that are a little overpowering)

I am usually not a lover of the many explanation points (three is always more than enough,) but I am using that tactic this morning to illustrate the fact that I'm drinking so much coffee, and I'm awake and ready to go (where, I don't know, because I don't even have class this morning) at six am.

You might be wondering, if you know me at all, why am I up at six am? Or, ready BY six am, therefore up BEFORE six am.  Well, that is a totally good and valid question; the answer is, I'm not sure if I slept at all.  I mean, my eyes were closed for awhile, but I don't know if I would call it sleep.  My mind was awake, but not in a dreamy way.  So I'm just going to say I've been up for like...Eh, I don't know, not twenty fours...maybe, like twentyish hours? 19? 17 at the least.  Don't remember when I really woke up yesterday (which feels like today when there isn't anything to separate the days. Anyway, there I go making two sentences' worth of thought into twenty.

How's everyone?

I'm well.  Good, even.  It's GBF (global bridegroom fast--though, I doubt that helps anyone too much,) week here at good ol' not pancakes IHOP (you get that right? so I don't have to clarify anymore?) so no classes this week.  Just extra prayer room hours and an extra paper or two to write.  But no classes is nice, on any other day than today, I would mention the not having to get up so early, but I am up way earlier than ever getting up early would be today.  But, being GBF things are busier in their less busyness.  It's weird like that.

And in case anyone was wondering, I am not fasting.  I am currently eating toast.

Hm.  What things do I have to tell you?  Well, today, I am going to talk to Renae's boss at the daycare where she works about a once a week job.  It wouldn't be a lot of money, or a lot of hours, but anything helps.  I would be a preschool teacher, of sorts.  Which sounds fun, honestly, I think that kids that age are the cutest.

I have also been thinking very hard (and praying, heh heh) the past weekish or so about instead of going back to FSM next year (or, even semester, I don't know how that works really,) but to do the Fire in the Night internship.  It's a little bit more money, but I wouldn't have to pay rent, because my housing would be included.  So I'm not sure.  I have to pray more about it.

But, I'm having a hard time really getting into things here, because I don't have to be.  I have to go to class, and have to go to the prayer room, but those are really individualistic things.  I don't have to be friends with anyone, I don't have to develop a community with them if I don't want to.  And, surprise-surprise, I have a really really hard time with things like that.  I get nervous, and talk myself out of even trying to be friends with people, based on my own insecurities.  So, if I'm not in a situation in which I have to be social, I will not be social; but I'll suffer from it, terribly.  It's not a good thing.  Being part of an internship would put me in the situation in which I would be forced to participate, get to know the girls I'd live with, etcetera.  I don't know, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like the best choice...  But you know, I'm not sure yet.  I need to talk with my parents and so on.  Pray for me though.

Um, I don't really have much else to say (but oh, I do, I just am not going to.)
I hope that you all are enjoying this morning, I know I am. :)

"You can't see the truth in a house of lies"

Sometimes really great lines come from people who amidst their personal lives you wouldn't necessarily excpect profound things...Like Ryan Adams.

Today has been the worst day since I've moved here, and nothing truly traumatic happened.  It was really just all a lot of little things (and a big whopping migraine,) that made me really in a terrible mood.  And, truth be told, I have really no one to tell it to.  So I won't bother telling you.
(though, in the heat of the moment, I did write this on tumblr, feel free to feel my pain.)
Mostly all I have to say is, as of RIGHT now, Christmas (or Thanksgiving if I am very very lucky,) cannot come fast enough.  And that sucks because September is taking it's sweet time finishing up.

Really, I just want someone to talk to. That's about it.
I'm kind of done with this entry, there isn't much to report.  I've already buried my face in my sorrows, now I'm sitting on my deck and looking into the distance, listening to crickets and looking at the seafoam green house I can see out my window.

Well, trying.

Today I took a day off, mostly.
I've watched TV on my computer, cleaned up my room, listened to music, reorganized my bookcases, deep conditioned my hair with my stain conditioner, and trimmed my bangs.
Then, Jane and I went to Target.
I am mostly doing not much.
But I want to try and update more.

More, when (if) it happens.


Oh, the dog is weird today and stood outside my door CRYING VERY LOUDLY from about 7:30-9:30 off and on. 
It was annoying.  And she just wanted me to let her outside, over and over again.  She must have an upset stomach or something.  Anyway.  That's about it.
My skin is irritated by something too.  I have bit splotchy red spots, which I guess means I'll never get married.

I've got my reasons!

I know that I said I would update almost everyday and I've already failed.
But, I have a good reason.
Well, for one, Sunday-I had small group.
And Monday-I had class and then hung out at the plaza with Jane (which is not a good excuse, but whatev.)
And then, THEN, I was dying.  I mean, I feel okay now.  But earlier, I was DYING. I have been in bed for TWO days. I have not gotten dressed for two days. I had a fever earlier, and I've thrown up five times.
This is all gross, I know, but I am sick. And I am sorry that I'm sick and bad at blogging.
But I am sick and bad at blogging, sometimes.
so, there.