It's raining outside and it is cold. I am sitting in my living room, in the empty house, thinking about being at home and Christmastime. Not seriously though, just in passing.
Things have been okay this past week. My mind is occupied on crushes on boys and the future and going home for thanksgiving; mostly though, on how good God is, and how happy I am about that.
My lovely (lovely is a proper descriptor, they have different forms of British accents, lovely is a proper British word) small group leaders, Wes and Carol Hall blessed me this week with a coat! A coat! Which is the greatest because it is so cold.
It's not super flattering, but it is very warm and not hideous.
It was the greatest.
Um. I lost my train of thought.
I got a coat.
ENTRY FIN.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
the comeback!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (aka-I hope you can read past the parentheticals phrases that are a little overpowering)
I am usually not a lover of the many explanation points (three is always more than enough,) but I am using that tactic this morning to illustrate the fact that I'm drinking so much coffee, and I'm awake and ready to go (where, I don't know, because I don't even have class this morning) at six am.
You might be wondering, if you know me at all, why am I up at six am? Or, ready BY six am, therefore up BEFORE six am. Well, that is a totally good and valid question; the answer is, I'm not sure if I slept at all. I mean, my eyes were closed for awhile, but I don't know if I would call it sleep. My mind was awake, but not in a dreamy way. So I'm just going to say I've been up for like...Eh, I don't know, not twenty fours...maybe, like twentyish hours? 19? 17 at the least. Don't remember when I really woke up yesterday (which feels like today when there isn't anything to separate the days. Anyway, there I go making two sentences' worth of thought into twenty.
How's everyone?
I'm well. Good, even. It's GBF (global bridegroom fast--though, I doubt that helps anyone too much,) week here at good ol' not pancakes IHOP (you get that right? so I don't have to clarify anymore?) so no classes this week. Just extra prayer room hours and an extra paper or two to write. But no classes is nice, on any other day than today, I would mention the not having to get up so early, but I am up way earlier than ever getting up early would be today. But, being GBF things are busier in their less busyness. It's weird like that.
And in case anyone was wondering, I am not fasting. I am currently eating toast.
Hm. What things do I have to tell you? Well, today, I am going to talk to Renae's boss at the daycare where she works about a once a week job. It wouldn't be a lot of money, or a lot of hours, but anything helps. I would be a preschool teacher, of sorts. Which sounds fun, honestly, I think that kids that age are the cutest.
I have also been thinking very hard (and praying, heh heh) the past weekish or so about instead of going back to FSM next year (or, even semester, I don't know how that works really,) but to do the Fire in the Night internship. It's a little bit more money, but I wouldn't have to pay rent, because my housing would be included. So I'm not sure. I have to pray more about it.
But, I'm having a hard time really getting into things here, because I don't have to be. I have to go to class, and have to go to the prayer room, but those are really individualistic things. I don't have to be friends with anyone, I don't have to develop a community with them if I don't want to. And, surprise-surprise, I have a really really hard time with things like that. I get nervous, and talk myself out of even trying to be friends with people, based on my own insecurities. So, if I'm not in a situation in which I have to be social, I will not be social; but I'll suffer from it, terribly. It's not a good thing. Being part of an internship would put me in the situation in which I would be forced to participate, get to know the girls I'd live with, etcetera. I don't know, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like the best choice... But you know, I'm not sure yet. I need to talk with my parents and so on. Pray for me though.
Um, I don't really have much else to say (but oh, I do, I just am not going to.)
I hope that you all are enjoying this morning, I know I am. :)
I hope that you all are enjoying this morning, I know I am. :)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
"You can't see the truth in a house of lies"
Sometimes really great lines come from people who amidst their personal lives you wouldn't necessarily excpect profound things...Like Ryan Adams.
Today has been the worst day since I've moved here, and nothing truly traumatic happened. It was really just all a lot of little things (and a big whopping migraine,) that made me really in a terrible mood. And, truth be told, I have really no one to tell it to. So I won't bother telling you.
(though, in the heat of the moment, I did write this on tumblr, feel free to feel my pain.)
Mostly all I have to say is, as of RIGHT now, Christmas (or Thanksgiving if I am very very lucky,) cannot come fast enough. And that sucks because September is taking it's sweet time finishing up.
Really, I just want someone to talk to. That's about it.
I'm kind of done with this entry, there isn't much to report. I've already buried my face in my sorrows, now I'm sitting on my deck and looking into the distance, listening to crickets and looking at the seafoam green house I can see out my window.
Today has been the worst day since I've moved here, and nothing truly traumatic happened. It was really just all a lot of little things (and a big whopping migraine,) that made me really in a terrible mood. And, truth be told, I have really no one to tell it to. So I won't bother telling you.
(though, in the heat of the moment, I did write this on tumblr, feel free to feel my pain.)
Mostly all I have to say is, as of RIGHT now, Christmas (or Thanksgiving if I am very very lucky,) cannot come fast enough. And that sucks because September is taking it's sweet time finishing up.
Really, I just want someone to talk to. That's about it.
I'm kind of done with this entry, there isn't much to report. I've already buried my face in my sorrows, now I'm sitting on my deck and looking into the distance, listening to crickets and looking at the seafoam green house I can see out my window.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Oh, my belly.
Correy Russell is our teacher this week in Core Class, which is nothing is not slightly surreal. Now, I've been aware of the fact that I am at IHOP (duh,) and that it is the same IHOP that is on TV at home; but having these people that are speaking prayers out into the air at my house when my mom has the TV on be my teachers is kind of weird. I mean, it's not like we are in a small classroom or anything, we aren't; we are at the main sanctuary at FSM which is huge (and freaking cold, but I don't wanna get myself started on that.) and there's around 200 people in my core class. But still, Correy Russell is one of the people I remember the best from seeing IHOP on TV, and he is my teacher this week. How crazy.
And classes are so good, but so intense. Hence my belly: I am worn out from crying out, I am worn out from crying out and feeling the holy spirit inside coming out, I am emotionally exhausted--and my belly hurts! I can only assume that it's coming from the breakthrough that I'm feel like I've been going through; I've felt like I've gone through more delieverance in the past two days than I have been the whole month and a few days/weekish I've been here. Wow, God is so amazing.
Anyway, whenever I try to write about spiritual matters in any other setting than in my prayer journal or so on they come out ramblings that only make sense while I'm writing them. And a blogspot about my everyday comings and goings seems to not be ideal.
So, since I've last written I've been in a slightly better mood. Only slightly.
But, I have been. I'm not lying.
Friday was an okay day, I think. From what I can remember it wasn't that specific. I got coffee with Jane and tried my darndest (?) to cheer her up (it was hard, she was bummmmmed out.)
I watched a lot of Greek on hulu. That's what I've been doing when I haven't been in class/prayer room, watching a terrible terrible television show. (By the way, I started watching it on wednesday, and I'm all the way through the first season and 15 episodes of the second season...don't add up the hours. I hate you.)
Then, I had to go to a picnic on Saturday. Which was lame and almost made me want to call my mom and ask her if I could move back home already. I sat alone on a picnic table bench, two people said hello to me, one of them being a teacher, and I ate a gross hot dog. Because the day was so crappy I got so anxious and uncomfortable I developed a migraine and went home and turned off all lights and sounds and slept for four hours and felt nauseous. :(
During the evening on Saturday, after I slept off my headache, I got up and Janae and Tori's cousins were in town for the night and staying over at our house. So Rebekah was over and they were going to have a fire, and sit on the back porch. Janae invited me out, but I had had enough socializing for the day. And, really, what would I have to talk about with them? I barely have anything to talk about with Janae and Tori, let alone Rebekah, and the cousins (who are two dudes in their twenties from Colorado), seriously nothing to say. And I was grouchy, and I hate being grouchy and thus awkward and making first impressions. It was good for everyone if I just stayed in my room. I had my door open because Hayley was really antsy with all the new people coming in and out so she kept coming in and out of my room as well, so Rebekah came and told me that I was allowed to be outside with them, don't feel like I couldn't be...and that they're good Christian boys so I shouldn't be scared of their "worldliness"....Oh man, I was SO angry. SO ANGRY. That was really rude. Sometimes....guh.
But a little after that Jordan walked by and I told her that my day sucked and she invited me to hang out the next morning with her. And that was really great.
Jordan hangs out and does her work at a coffee shop in Waldo (about ten minutes away from Grandview, closer up towards the Plaza and Brookside) called "Coffee Girls" and it was so cute, and has the greatest IKEA furniture and it's so clean and designy. We hung out there and I got a free cafe au lait that was pretty much awesome. Her friend Dallas came and hung out for a little while too; he's pretty cool, I mean he loves some of the same things that I love...that start with "I" at least...Ira Glass and IKEA. :) So that was all good coversation.
Once Jordan had something else she had to go do I met Jane at Broadway and we hung out in westport the rest of the afternoon. Sunday was a generally respectable day.
That's pretty much all I've been up to, since I last wrote.
Mostly I am totally drained by the heavy teaching this week...in a good way.
Now I'm sitting outside the prayer room. I've been going in an out, I'm so tired when I go in there though! Gah, I have to keep leaving to help from falling asleep.
I like free wifi, it's a beautiful day.
Cheers. I bought headphones, and am listening to my ipod...it's been too long Robert, I've missed you ever so much.
Fleet Foxes :) mmm. Perfect music for the weather. Later Skaters.
And classes are so good, but so intense. Hence my belly: I am worn out from crying out, I am worn out from crying out and feeling the holy spirit inside coming out, I am emotionally exhausted--and my belly hurts! I can only assume that it's coming from the breakthrough that I'm feel like I've been going through; I've felt like I've gone through more delieverance in the past two days than I have been the whole month and a few days/weekish I've been here. Wow, God is so amazing.
Anyway, whenever I try to write about spiritual matters in any other setting than in my prayer journal or so on they come out ramblings that only make sense while I'm writing them. And a blogspot about my everyday comings and goings seems to not be ideal.
So, since I've last written I've been in a slightly better mood. Only slightly.
But, I have been. I'm not lying.
Friday was an okay day, I think. From what I can remember it wasn't that specific. I got coffee with Jane and tried my darndest (?) to cheer her up (it was hard, she was bummmmmed out.)
I watched a lot of Greek on hulu. That's what I've been doing when I haven't been in class/prayer room, watching a terrible terrible television show. (By the way, I started watching it on wednesday, and I'm all the way through the first season and 15 episodes of the second season...don't add up the hours. I hate you.)
Then, I had to go to a picnic on Saturday. Which was lame and almost made me want to call my mom and ask her if I could move back home already. I sat alone on a picnic table bench, two people said hello to me, one of them being a teacher, and I ate a gross hot dog. Because the day was so crappy I got so anxious and uncomfortable I developed a migraine and went home and turned off all lights and sounds and slept for four hours and felt nauseous. :(
During the evening on Saturday, after I slept off my headache, I got up and Janae and Tori's cousins were in town for the night and staying over at our house. So Rebekah was over and they were going to have a fire, and sit on the back porch. Janae invited me out, but I had had enough socializing for the day. And, really, what would I have to talk about with them? I barely have anything to talk about with Janae and Tori, let alone Rebekah, and the cousins (who are two dudes in their twenties from Colorado), seriously nothing to say. And I was grouchy, and I hate being grouchy and thus awkward and making first impressions. It was good for everyone if I just stayed in my room. I had my door open because Hayley was really antsy with all the new people coming in and out so she kept coming in and out of my room as well, so Rebekah came and told me that I was allowed to be outside with them, don't feel like I couldn't be...and that they're good Christian boys so I shouldn't be scared of their "worldliness"....Oh man, I was SO angry. SO ANGRY. That was really rude. Sometimes....guh.
But a little after that Jordan walked by and I told her that my day sucked and she invited me to hang out the next morning with her. And that was really great.
Jordan hangs out and does her work at a coffee shop in Waldo (about ten minutes away from Grandview, closer up towards the Plaza and Brookside) called "Coffee Girls" and it was so cute, and has the greatest IKEA furniture and it's so clean and designy. We hung out there and I got a free cafe au lait that was pretty much awesome. Her friend Dallas came and hung out for a little while too; he's pretty cool, I mean he loves some of the same things that I love...that start with "I" at least...Ira Glass and IKEA. :) So that was all good coversation.
Once Jordan had something else she had to go do I met Jane at Broadway and we hung out in westport the rest of the afternoon. Sunday was a generally respectable day.
That's pretty much all I've been up to, since I last wrote.
Mostly I am totally drained by the heavy teaching this week...in a good way.
Now I'm sitting outside the prayer room. I've been going in an out, I'm so tired when I go in there though! Gah, I have to keep leaving to help from falling asleep.
I like free wifi, it's a beautiful day.
Cheers. I bought headphones, and am listening to my ipod...it's been too long Robert, I've missed you ever so much.
Fleet Foxes :) mmm. Perfect music for the weather. Later Skaters.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Well, trying.
Today I took a day off, mostly.
I've watched TV on my computer, cleaned up my room, listened to music, reorganized my bookcases, deep conditioned my hair with my stain conditioner, and trimmed my bangs.
Then, Jane and I went to Target.
I am mostly doing not much.
But I want to try and update more.
More, when (if) it happens.
Oh, the dog is weird today and stood outside my door CRYING VERY LOUDLY from about 7:30-9:30 off and on.
It was annoying. And she just wanted me to let her outside, over and over again. She must have an upset stomach or something. Anyway. That's about it.
My skin is irritated by something too. I have bit splotchy red spots, which I guess means I'll never get married.
I've watched TV on my computer, cleaned up my room, listened to music, reorganized my bookcases, deep conditioned my hair with my stain conditioner, and trimmed my bangs.
Then, Jane and I went to Target.
I am mostly doing not much.
But I want to try and update more.
More, when (if) it happens.
Oh, the dog is weird today and stood outside my door CRYING VERY LOUDLY from about 7:30-9:30 off and on.
It was annoying. And she just wanted me to let her outside, over and over again. She must have an upset stomach or something. Anyway. That's about it.
My skin is irritated by something too. I have bit splotchy red spots, which I guess means I'll never get married.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Copeland, making me feel like missing home.
Hello all, internet, friends, countrymen, fellow apostles, brothers, sisters, starbucks partners.... ect.
School has started for pretty much everyone that I know now, and I hope that it is all going very well. I'm thinking and praying for everyone to have super productive semesters. Lord knows, I need that in my life. School is so different; it's so good, and it's so weird. I spend more time not in class, and in the prayer room--for a grade. This is weird, because I have a super short attention span. I mean, really God is wonderful, He really is, but I get so distracted. Do you know all that's going on in the GPR (global prayer room--here at IHOP-KC, we are all about initials.)?? Soooo much. Like, there is all these cameras that are taping for GodTV, there are people pacing, there are more asian people than I've ever seen (and I've been to China Town NY) there are worship teams, there's Lou Engle, and Allen Hood and all these other people I've seen my mom watching on TV. There are cute boys. There are little kids. There are so many interestin people. There are so many people doing stuff, and I just wanna look at it.
This is what I get to do for school--sheesh! It' really weird.
(so, sidenote: my keyboard is sticking like you would not believe, and if there's a letter missing from a word, I apologize. I'm trying to pound the stickiness out of the keys, but I can only type so hard. It kind of hurts. But, I digress. What I mean to say is, sorry if I miss letters sometimes.)
Anyway though, school is so different because it's more Church than school, though it's way more school than church. Okay, okay, it's only been one and half whole weeks. I don't really know what I'm talking about. Bear with me.
How is school for everyone going though? I really wanna know, I wanna be all up to date with you all.
And if you aren't in school, how's the end of the summer? How's jobs? Life? Good? I hope so.
But other than school, I've been doing plenty of things; KC is such a cool city. I have been around more hipsters than I was when I was at Cornerstone, or Clifton or anything. It's really weird. They're all so pretty...
I've eaten such good food. I've been in cooler places, with awesome people, it's been really great.
I live in a house with 4 other girls, and they are all blessings to have and know. We also have a dog (well, my roommate, technically, has a dog. But we all love her.) her name is Hayley and she is the prettiest golden retriever ever (well, minus my good ol' Lady [RIP]) and if you know me, you know I'm eating that up with a spoon. Seriously she is the coolest. She's like a dog on TV, you know the pretty healthy goldens who just want to be petted and play ball; if you throw a frisbee in the air she can run and catch it before it hits the ground. Lady didn't move unless there was food involved, and sometimes not even then; Winston doesn't know how to sit on command--you can imagine my joy.
Other than the dog, I'm also getting along with my roommates, as I said, they're all pretty great. Janae and Tori are sisters, they have the lease on the house, they're from California; they are the sweetest girls ever, and so funny. Janae is genuinely one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and is so interested in people. It's wonderful. Tori is hilarious! She has the greatest giggle I've ever heard. Renae has the room right next to mine, she is from Kansas (about three hours west of here,) and she works as a day care. She is funny and great to be around--tomorrow we are going a-job hunting together--and she is so grounded and on track with the Lord. She's great to be around and get to learn from. Also, she's just super fun. Then lastly (and maybe not much longer :( :( which I'll miss her a lot!) is Jordan. Jordan has been pretty much everywhere, and done like everything. She lived in Florida, she went to Asbury for awhile (so she lived in KY!) and then went to Simmons College in Boston (and took classes at Harvard! Holy crap! Who does that?! Rivers Cuomo, Natalie Portman...Rory Gilmore... Seriously.) She is the coolest though, and I'm so happy to know her. She's pretty much the funniest person ever. And I feel super cool that she likes me.
I live in a pretty great house.
Grandview (the suburb of KC that I --unfortunately, technically--live in) is totally creepy. Totally.
There is an entire abandoned shopping mall, along with all the other shopping on the road. It would be if Mall road, and Houston were completely deserted. (If you are from Florence, or NKY, would that be relevant, but yeah)
Super creepy, right? Yes.
And you kinda feel like you're going to be attacked or somehing. Thank God that IHOP-KC is based here, other wise it would stupid to live here.
Um, I can't think of anything else to talk about right now (it's so late.)
Starting tomorrow I think it'll be more day to day, less general, entries.
But I kinda just wanted to talk a little about vague stuff.
I hope everyone is sleeping right now. And getting plenty of rest (it's almost 4 in the morning! eek, here, which means it's almost 5 for most of you, in eastern time!) and have great weekends.
talk more tomorrow, I'll be more organized.
love love love, hannah
School has started for pretty much everyone that I know now, and I hope that it is all going very well. I'm thinking and praying for everyone to have super productive semesters. Lord knows, I need that in my life. School is so different; it's so good, and it's so weird. I spend more time not in class, and in the prayer room--for a grade. This is weird, because I have a super short attention span. I mean, really God is wonderful, He really is, but I get so distracted. Do you know all that's going on in the GPR (global prayer room--here at IHOP-KC, we are all about initials.)?? Soooo much. Like, there is all these cameras that are taping for GodTV, there are people pacing, there are more asian people than I've ever seen (and I've been to China Town NY) there are worship teams, there's Lou Engle, and Allen Hood and all these other people I've seen my mom watching on TV. There are cute boys. There are little kids. There are so many interestin people. There are so many people doing stuff, and I just wanna look at it.
This is what I get to do for school--sheesh! It' really weird.
(so, sidenote: my keyboard is sticking like you would not believe, and if there's a letter missing from a word, I apologize. I'm trying to pound the stickiness out of the keys, but I can only type so hard. It kind of hurts. But, I digress. What I mean to say is, sorry if I miss letters sometimes.)
Anyway though, school is so different because it's more Church than school, though it's way more school than church. Okay, okay, it's only been one and half whole weeks. I don't really know what I'm talking about. Bear with me.
How is school for everyone going though? I really wanna know, I wanna be all up to date with you all.
And if you aren't in school, how's the end of the summer? How's jobs? Life? Good? I hope so.
But other than school, I've been doing plenty of things; KC is such a cool city. I have been around more hipsters than I was when I was at Cornerstone, or Clifton or anything. It's really weird. They're all so pretty...
I've eaten such good food. I've been in cooler places, with awesome people, it's been really great.
I live in a house with 4 other girls, and they are all blessings to have and know. We also have a dog (well, my roommate, technically, has a dog. But we all love her.) her name is Hayley and she is the prettiest golden retriever ever (well, minus my good ol' Lady [RIP]) and if you know me, you know I'm eating that up with a spoon. Seriously she is the coolest. She's like a dog on TV, you know the pretty healthy goldens who just want to be petted and play ball; if you throw a frisbee in the air she can run and catch it before it hits the ground. Lady didn't move unless there was food involved, and sometimes not even then; Winston doesn't know how to sit on command--you can imagine my joy.
Other than the dog, I'm also getting along with my roommates, as I said, they're all pretty great. Janae and Tori are sisters, they have the lease on the house, they're from California; they are the sweetest girls ever, and so funny. Janae is genuinely one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and is so interested in people. It's wonderful. Tori is hilarious! She has the greatest giggle I've ever heard. Renae has the room right next to mine, she is from Kansas (about three hours west of here,) and she works as a day care. She is funny and great to be around--tomorrow we are going a-job hunting together--and she is so grounded and on track with the Lord. She's great to be around and get to learn from. Also, she's just super fun. Then lastly (and maybe not much longer :( :( which I'll miss her a lot!) is Jordan. Jordan has been pretty much everywhere, and done like everything. She lived in Florida, she went to Asbury for awhile (so she lived in KY!) and then went to Simmons College in Boston (and took classes at Harvard! Holy crap! Who does that?! Rivers Cuomo, Natalie Portman...Rory Gilmore... Seriously.) She is the coolest though, and I'm so happy to know her. She's pretty much the funniest person ever. And I feel super cool that she likes me.
I live in a pretty great house.
Grandview (the suburb of KC that I --unfortunately, technically--live in) is totally creepy. Totally.
There is an entire abandoned shopping mall, along with all the other shopping on the road. It would be if Mall road, and Houston were completely deserted. (If you are from Florence, or NKY, would that be relevant, but yeah)
Super creepy, right? Yes.
And you kinda feel like you're going to be attacked or somehing. Thank God that IHOP-KC is based here, other wise it would stupid to live here.
Um, I can't think of anything else to talk about right now (it's so late.)
Starting tomorrow I think it'll be more day to day, less general, entries.
But I kinda just wanted to talk a little about vague stuff.
I hope everyone is sleeping right now. And getting plenty of rest (it's almost 4 in the morning! eek, here, which means it's almost 5 for most of you, in eastern time!) and have great weekends.
talk more tomorrow, I'll be more organized.
love love love, hannah
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