Moleskins.

I keep real journals, in real notebooks, where I keep all my day to day (mostly) thoughts and goings ons.
Then, I have moleskin journals; I carry them around with me all the time, wherever I am, work, church, ect.  I used them for all sorts of things.  Sometimes I take notes at church or school, or I just write single lines, lists, or paragraphs of whatever is on my mind at the time.  Usually of no consequence.
But, the moleskins are the most interesting.
Here's a few selections from old moleskins that are actually closer to telling about me than my regular organized journals.

"(stop being an ass.)"
- first page of my moleskin that I kept from june 2007 through july 2008, the following quotes are from that journal.
 (it used to take me a long time to fill one up.)

"You're so shallow.  I know you know it.  But, sometimes I wish you could see it from my point of view (three lines of scribbled out words) you know I feel like shit too."

"Feeling loads better.  Need to keep this up.  Not the choppy sentences, lacking defined subjects, but the feeling better.  Need to stay focused.  Really truly."

"I hate losing faith in people."

"there is an asian boy sitting next to me at school; he is listening to Percy Grainger on his laptop, rather loudly."

"I didn't want to say anything, but I thought you two should date.  You're cuter, and saner, I just think something is wrong with him...Now I know there is." (a quote I wrote down, aimed towards me, by Sara Ailshire. Summer 07)

"I need to explain, I want to.  But I can't."

"I love that I absolutely forget what I'm talking about in here all the time."

"sometimes you're so... like you might love me.  other times, most times, real life times, you don't.  and that's okay, I promise.  But, stop, stop doing those things, just be honest.  Come on now, you've been killing me for years."

"I should've moved to Kansas City when I had the chance. Damn."

"This entire journal is just forgets, and love notes...to people who aren't aware of my existence."

"STAMP OF APPROVAL!"

"I freaking love Ryan Adams so freaking much. Argh."

"All over print hoodies hurt my eyes with their ugliness."

"I have never been so attracted to someone in my ENTIRE LIFE.  That's gross." (don't read into that one too much, ha ha.)

"black sweater, black sweater, black sweater, black sweater....ahhhhhhhhhhhh. wear it everyday."

"Fred said "...You always look thin."  Fred is full of shit.  I told him so."

"Screw it, I give up, why pretend anymore....I REALLY LIKE VAMPIRE WEEKEND."

"Okay, I see how it is.  Don't talk to me anymore.  Fine.  I know you love me though.  Kyle get out of here, you asshole, you're ruining my chances at happiness." (ha ha ha ha...)

"one time, there was a ceramic taco on the floor of the band room; then sara broke it.  reguardless, it was strange."

"my eye has been twitching for a freaking week.  this blows."

"I think that Gorgey Matt is a proper princess, good for ...him."

"I bought some running shoes, and I am a freaking jerk."

"Boris is my russian friend.  He is the best russian friend I've ever had."

"Pet sounds...is so good."

"STUPID ASS WENDY'S FULL OF CRAP AND OTHER BAD WORDS."

"Blake Sennet was Jenny Lewis's first boyfriend; I thought this was important to know."

"Why am I an asshole?"

"Mr. Dude, let's run away together.  Don't tell Matt.  It's all a dream."

"I love love love love love you Will Sheff.  You're awesome."

"Plan for semester one of college: Buy an ipod."

"NO! STOP! COME HERE! I'M SO BORED!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I kind of want to jump your bones, this is wrong, forget I ever said it."

"There are only 410 movies I need to see before I die...according to that book."

"I miss Uri."

"Lust is bad, don't do it."

"And all I want is an ipod...and a boyfriend."

"jkjkjkjkjkjkjk....obviously!"

"I wonder how well they can see me...oops."

"Matt Hales is beautiful.  I love Aqualung.  Simon Woods gay.  How stupid."

"Chan Marshall is running for president? huh?"

"YOU MAKE ME SO MAD WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN?"

"Verizon guy's name is NOT Michael Roberts, kthnx kt."

"Mickey is such a freaking idiot.  So is Dave... Why do I work with the hugest idiots EVER?"

"Contrary to my own belief even, I don't actually want him to get hurt.  Though, I do believe he deserves it.  I care immensely for his well being, or lack there of.  And I think somewhere deep down he would say the same thing for me.  Though, probably not so eloquently."

"Someone please punch me in the face."

"I wish you weren't so stupid all the time...Fred."

"Will Sheff, let's get married and make kind of asiany looking babies.  It'll be cool."

"Can I borrow your Kroger plus card?... or maybe just your phone number will work too?--greatest pick up line anyone has ever used on me.  I let him use the card."

"Don't eavesdrop on me, Verizon guy...I mean, wait, no go right on ahead."

"OH WELL. OH WELL. OH. WELL."

"I'll be better when I wake up in the morning."

"Stephen? For the love of God, I hope that's not it."

"AHA. CHRIS."

"you should've been on a date with ME, not that girl with the really ugly hair.  I am SO much cuter. AND I like good music, books, films, ect, and I love Jesus.  I am WAY more interesting, I BET.  Damnit."

"I hate tuesdays and thursdays...with...ev...ery....FI...BERRR....OF MY BEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every. Single. One. Every Fiber. Every Tuesday.  Everything Thursday.  Every one."

"JIMMY BRAAAADY." (? ha ha.)

"Jimmy Brady looks like Pygar from Barbarella.  Ha ha ha ha."

"Come get yo' cooooffeee. At the beanery! Our coffee only partially sucks!!"

"I love pens."

"AT&T guys are super skanks."

"I hope you get cancer or herpes....no I don't."

"Today I hate mall walkers.  Today is everyday."

"Matt Slocum looked exactly how I imagined he would look, and I was like 'Whoa, how did I know that? He doesn't look like he does in pictures?' I kind of thought I was prophetic or something.  And then I remembered, freaking duh, I met Matt Slocum last year, so clearly I've seen him before."

"Minus the Bear??? Ohhhhhh DANNNNNNG."

"What do the Cincinnati Bell dudes have stuck up their...don't answer that."

"He drives a SAAB? Dear Lord Father God is Heaven."

"Well, go me.  I look cute in boots."

"Jeff from AT&T takes picture of kids on leashes and his phone is full of said pictures, he thinks it's funny.  He just told me this."

"I love beards, I love the idea of something to hold on to. - Jane...that doesn't even make sense, but I agree."

"I chew ice."

"I HATE THE LIBRARY AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR, INCLUDING LITERACY."

"I love watching Jimmy and G-rod check out girls, it cracks me up how big of douches they are."

"Babies. Babies. Babies?"

"I hate you most of the time, I don't understand you ever.  This is the end of the book."

So, I was pathetic at first...And then I started working at the beanery.