So, I realized that I've moved away from home. I'm buying my own groceries. I'm sick and I'm nursing myself... to more sickness... but that's besides the point. The point is, I am kind of growing up. I'm realizing there's nothing wrong with moving on, that there's some validity in living not where you grew up. Not everyone is my parents, I'm not my parents. And I guess I just thought I should be. Now, I'm not saying I'm never going to live there again, in Florence, or even in Cincinnati, I'm just saying, I don't have to. And for the first time in my life that's okay. I'm starting to realize that I can do what I want to do, not what I think I should do (which, is to say, I need to do the right thing, but I don't necessarily have to not do something because it's too hard. Or I'm too scared.)
I'm done being scared, and I'm ready to be myself... How corny am I. Seriously. Seriously. I'm super corny.
But that's not the point I'm trying to make. I'm trying to say, there's nothing wrong with wanting something.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend this season of my life in Kansas City, praying, and pressing in to God.
And there's nothing wrong with wanting to start a music zine and go to shows, and write about it. (heck, in the age of blogs?)
And there's nothing wrong with wanting to get married.
And there's nothing wrong with being scared, as long as it doesn't give you anxiety attacks and prevent you from functioning and puts you on medication.
I'm getting over it.
btw, been sick, think about me when you pray. or, better, pray for me. I need to get out of this funk.
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